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poem

October.6.2010
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Spent an empowering day with Babae women this weekend doing intense education. Topics covered were Organizing 101 and the LGBTQI experience. Good, grounding conversations and discussions about some not-so-easy subjects. The LGBTQI workshop was especially healing, incorporating fun activities and writing. We were given a prompt, and asked to free write using the lens of an LGBTQI person. Here’s what I came up with, written for someone I deeply care about:

I wish you could see me.

For who I really am.

And not the mask that I put on everyday,

The smile I wear when you call me a fag,

The nervous laughter I utter when you give me a “man punch.”

I wish you could see me

And the strength in my soft stance.

The power in my voice, no matter how high pitched.

The experience that my eyes reflect beyond the years I’ve lived.

I wish you could see me

And not what you want for me

Or who you want with me

Or who I can’t be, won’t be, will never be.

I wish you could see me

Because I am a real man,

More than my womanizing peers

More than my father who abandoned our family

More than the Hercules standard that you hold.

I am your son.

The young man that helped raise his younger sister.

Who cared for his sick mother.

Who stood up for his bullied cousins.

Who hides his true self so that you can have the “normal” family you’ve always wanted.

One day, you will see me. And when you are ready,

I will be too.

Need to get back into writing mode to prep for the 2nd run of the Pinay Stories project!

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